Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×



Details

Submitted on
May 22, 2013
Image Size
2.8 MB
Resolution
682×6000
Submitted with
Sta.sh
Link
Thumb
Embed

Stats

Views
15,383
Favourites
570 (who?)
Comments
238

Camera Data

×
Dad's Nostalgia by NuclearJackal Dad's Nostalgia by NuclearJackal
After about two weeks of work we have a high-quality six-page comic. It's going to be printed-off and put up in a college exhibition, so that explains why there is such a high-quality on an otherwise short piece B-)

This comic is quite biographical, as all the stories told in this piece are true. The only fiction would the fact that I've written this about two months before when it took place. A lot of the descriptions and much of the stuff said is either directly quoted or adapted from interviews I've had with my dad (as well as general conversation).

So there we go, a little testament to my dad and mum.

One more thing: many thanks to my comrades who supported me with piece, including Michelle Henderson who helped me with bits and bobs :XD::horns:
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2013-05-23
The suggester said, "Apart from the lovely style and graphic storytelling, of Dad's Nostalgia by *NuclearJackal, the biographical concept is touching and well told." ( Suggested by Spikey-T and Featured by jcroxas )
:iconposhsingularity:
Fun biography.

There are a lot of issues with line quality, perspective, and anatomy throughout I think you could improve, but most of all I would suggest abstracting a little more.

That is, try to develop more of a cartooning style, where the characters are more simplified so they're easier to draw, and you can focus more attention on a fewer number of lines to make them cleaner (not quite as rough and unfinished). That will help both in colouring, and the overall nature of the comic looking more polished. Realism is rarely necessary :)

Try to use illustrator or a thicker felt pen for finishing the lines after sketching in pencil or scanning, and you'll get a much better result in the end.

Going through the writing and the story, it was all pretty good.

I wonder why the butter was a cube; if it was slapped from (likely) a tub where it was churned or scooped into, I would imagine it more of a smear from a wooden spatula than a tidy cube.

There are just a couple grammatical errors, one:

"Oh if still had some of those bottles today", there should be an 'I' in there; even spoken slang rarely drops the 'I'

It's hard to tell who is speaking sometimes, since the dialogue bubbles are ambiguous, but some parts are more confusing, like:

"I bought it on sale"

Shouldn't that be the other guy talking?

Perspective wise, there are only two really strange points.

In the kitchen, the guy looks really small behind the bread (particularly because the distant counter-tops are drawn very large). And in the larger environment image, the container ships could use a little tilt for perspective, particularly lower down on the decks, since they're a fair distance from the horizon. Most of the rest is roughly correct.

For the man and a woman, when depicted early in their relationship, I suggest you pay more attention to the differences between them, and exaggerate that a bit- such as her hair style. The current drawing style makes them look almost identical (if they weren't coloured slightly differently, in some frames I wouldn't know who was who at all).

I hope that's helpful :) Great story- what an interesting life!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
17 out of 20 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconlimey-boy:
Let me first get this out of the way: This little strip has a lot of heart in it, and thats something you can't teach or copy. Its something you transfer from experience, and sometimes it comes out just right.

Thats why I gave this such a High Impact rating, Its message and underlying values resonate wonderfully, going from a lighthearted conversation about where dad got his odd knick-knacks from (A delightful way to tell a story, thats why such things are called "conversation starters" after all) to a rather serious slightly understated and heavy remark about the living conditions in africa at the time.

The vision got a good mark up too, it conveys the exact thing it wanted to from start to end brilliantly and this tunes into the impact score as well. Its hard to have much of an impact without a good vision.

In terms of originality, its okay. Its hardly the newest thing ever showing off a good yarn of tale from your old folks but its a tried tested and true one, I did like how it went from emotion to emotion though. really rings like how a parent would tell their child a story, with amusement mixed with caution. So in fact its Okay +1.

However I had to give technique to lowest score, granted the actual art itself conveys what it has to perfectly well, but apart from serving its very functional purpose what I think I'll remember about this is not the visuals but the story and what it represents, the tale of a man's life told through his son. there is quite a lot of room for improvement here but I do have to say there's nothing visually that detracts from the overall piece, there's nothing done particularly bad here, its just what I consider lacklustre.

Its perfectly fine, and works functionally for the story but could definitely be improved is what I'm saying.

Fortunately Technique or Artistic skill can always be improved or learned, usually via practice and trying out a series of different styles and... well, techniques. as I can see from your gallery I can see the majority of it is a blend of personally developed style and anime-manga-esque, so maybe try something completely different next time?

You already have a decent grasp at anatomy and object placement, from there its just practice and not being scared to fail. Not everything will work and thats okay, give yourself permission to not do something right.

Anywho, this is a very good story with a lot of heart, a heavy impact, a good vision, okay originality and a functional technique. Keep up the good work!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
37 out of 40 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconminingfordegus:
Perfectly done. Just perfectly.
Reply
:iconnuclearjackal:
NuclearJackal Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you : )
Reply
:iconcomputercoyote:
ComputerCoyote Jun 9, 2013
Wow this story is really cool :happybounce: It's really well done!! :D I think that you've got one awesome dad :meow:
Reply
:iconnuclearjackal:
NuclearJackal Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you very muchly B-):horns:
Reply
:iconcomputercoyote:
ComputerCoyote Jun 9, 2013
you're welcome :iconlawooplz:
Reply
:iconnuclearjackal:
NuclearJackal Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
:iconlahugplz:
Reply
:iconshadowchaser12:
ShadowChaser12 May 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is an amazing story I love it :iconhappytearsplz:
Reply
Add a Comment: